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Sunday, 6 September 2015

Dealing with Disappointment...

This is me venting and for me writing seems to be the only way I can vent without being really self destructive. I'm writing this down in all honesty for me but hey, you may find a moody Sunday rant interesting... 

In my last post I mentioned that me and my OH have been saving for somewhere to live which has now turned into actually looking for houses. This has involved lots of trawling the internet, well mainly Rightmove, in search of our first home. I cannot describe to you the intensity of how it feels to be doing this but it's actually mentally pushed me into some horrible places. I may write about the whole process of house hunting later down the line but for right now I am finding it really stressful. These big life decisions are hard and ridiculously testing.

So the most recent thing that has happened in this mini drama was we put in an offer on a house we both really liked. This up until this point had been a rarity so stupidly we got over excited and as my family has been really involved they even went for a viewing! Within the space of a day we had put in an asking price offer and had it ignored (yes ignored which is a story for another day) and then for the morning after for it to be rejected. Now you can understand someone rejecting your offer for one higher than yours but we have since found out it was for a dramatically lower offer which really hit me hard. I had mentally moved a sofa in so I was really in deep on this house and thought this stress was done with, so it seems did my OH so neither of us knew what to do with this kind of emotion, this severe disappointment...

I obviously don't handle stress or disappointment well, I do everything with my heart on my sleeve but I actually need to learn to let things go. One phrase that people keeping saying to me about house hunting is this... 'It wasn't meant to be' which should comfort me but actually just annoys me more (sorry to those of you who have messaged with this.) This whole house hunting thing really does mess with your head, puts a strain on your relationships and in my case had made me super mean. I want that that moment when I walk into a house for it to feel like it could be our home and to be honest I'm starting to think thats not real and we should just settle. 

Anyways this is my little rant on something I know I should be grateful I'm in a position to do. I've realised writing this that I've become a bit lost in the process and haven't really looked out from it in a while. My hope is in me writing this I'm hoping it will loosen my focus on it and I can then breathe a little. I also hope to get back to blogging properly soon with something a little more fun and joyful!

How do you guys deal with disappointment? 


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