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Wednesday, 4 February 2015

Everyday Positivity


I don't want this post to be corny or cheesy or make anyone roll their eyes but I think there is something to be said for having at least one really positive moment in each day. As someone who does has majorly down days and knowing friends who suffer with clinical depression, for me positivity is the key to making each day bearable to enjoyable and open. I have some simple rules that help me out along the way and thought I could share them to help others:
1) Not setting unreachable goals and recognise small achievements:
I'm the type of person that likes to go above and beyond in order to achieve my goals. The reality of this is I set myself some that I will never achieve which has in the past left me feeling down and a bit lost. A teacher once told me that you will never achieve perfection which did devastate me for a while until I realised that it's not a problem to strive for but you have to see the great things you do achieve on the journey. 

2) Walk away: 
I have a tendency to leave negative situations, just leave and not look back. It's well known to my friends that I will just disappear when I feel stressed, out of control or when a situation is too heavy. This is totally a flee response and I hold my hands up and say it's something I need to work on, but when things get bad, it's my go-to move. I don't need other peoples negativity invading my space - it's selfish but I know how much it effects me.

3) Staying fit and active:
Over the past year or so I have found that after a really stressful or upsetting day a really good session at the gym has helped me vent the frustration. It's great because I feel healthier mentally and physically and the more I do it the more I enjoy it.
 
4) Pay attention to the positivity around you
I have always seen the negative before anything positive and this for me is a mental state I'm working on changing. It was hard to recognise that I was doing this until my boyfriend pointed it out and once he had I felt a huge wave of realisation. I try now to look at things differently, seek solutions instead of pointing out the problems and more importantly talk things through instead of bottling them up. All these little things are slowly but surely making me more positive and happy overall with the dark days becoming less frequent.

5) Smile
If nothing else works I force myself to smile. This sounds like torture but i take a minute or so to do this and focus on something that makes me smile. One small smile really can change your day and someone elses


Now if you're reading all this and you find that the down days out weigh the good and being positive is just too difficult to comprehend please think about asking for help. Yes, I know this may be something you already know or had been told to do but taking that first step, that first positive step in actively seeking help is so important. Asking for this or someone to talk to is nothing to ashamed of and it will help. Reaching out to a people like those at MIND who deal with all forms of mental illness including depression is a really good place to start for people who can help you, won't judge you and if nothing else can reassure you that you are not alone.

I hope these little things may help you if you need them.

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